BEN REVERE, OF THE PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES, HIT HIS FIRST CAREER HOME RUN ON WEDNESDAY. WITH 1,565 CAREER PLATE APPEARANCES, BEN REVERE ACTUALLY HIT THE BASEBALL OVER THE WALL FOR A HOME RUN. AS YOU CAN TELL, THIS CALLS FOR TYPING THIS WHOLE THING IN CAPITAL LETTERS BECAUSE BASEBALL IS JUST WEIRD LIKE THAT.
HERE ARE A LIST OF THINGS IN BASEBALL THAT HAPPENED BETWEEN BEN REVERE’S FIRST AT BAT AND HIM HITTING THE HOME RUN.
THE SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS WON THEIR FIRST TWO WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS SINCE MOVING TO SAN FRANCISCO
THE FLORIDA MARLINS BECAME THE MIAMI MARLINS
THE TEXAS RANGERS LOST IN THE WORLD SERIES…IN CONSECUTIVE SEASONS
THE BALTIMORE ORIOLES, PITTSBURGH PIRATES, OAKLAND ATHLETICS, AND WASHINGTON NATIONALS ALL MADE IT TO THE POSTSEASON
18 PLAYERS WERE SUSPENDED FOR PERFORMANCE ENHANCING DRUGS
ALEX RODRIGUEZ STRUCK OUT 24 TIMES IN THE POSTSEASON
ALEX RODRIGUEZ HAS BEEN PAID OVER $122,000,000
MARIANO RIVERA RETIRED
JACOBY ELLSBURY LEFT THE RED SOX FOR THE YANKEES
KEVIN YOUKILIS PLAYED FOR THE YANKEES
MIKE TROUT POSTED A 23.4 WAR
MIKE STANTON CHANGED HIS NAME TO GIANCARLO
FAUSTO CARMONA TURNED INTO ROBERTO HERNANDEZ
15 NO HITTERS WERE PITCHED
HOMER BAILEY PITCHED TWO NO HITTERS
BUSTER POSEY CAUGHT TWO NO HITTERS (MATT CAIN & TIM LINCECUM)
THERE WERE SEVEN NO HITTERS IN 2012
THE SAN DIEFO PADRES HAVE STILL NOT THROWN A NO HITTER
AND FINALLY, JOSH LUEKE WAS STILL A RAPIST
CONGRATULATIONS TO BEN ON HIS FIRST CAREER HOME RUN. HE WILL TURN THE BATON OVER TO BROCK HOLT, WHO HAS GONE 211 PLATE APPEARANCES WITHOUT HIS FIRST CAREER HOME RUN.
It took until the second week of the season, but I’ve found out something to do instead of just simply showing you the derps of the week; I can include every little weird thing that happened in baseball this week.
Two relief pitchers had at bats this week: Trevor Rosenthal and Brandon League.
Dioner Navarro stole a base. This hasn’t happened since 2009.
Dee Gordon hit a home run…off Max Scherzer.
Danny Salazar struck out 10 people in 3.2 innings.
The Orioles committed two errors in a game, and Nelson Cruz did not commit them.
Jose Fernandez gave up six earned runs to the Phillies which included a bases loaded walk to Ryan Howard.
Bryce Harper hit seventh in the batting order which he’s done 6 times with a .412 batting average, 1 home run and 5 RBI’s.
Alejando De Aza has more home runs than the Kansas City Royals.
Charlie Blackmon still has a batting average over .400 (.486).
Pedro Alvarez, Brandon Belt & Mark Trumbo all have 5 home runs.
Chase Utley has a 1.291 OPS.
Emilio Bonifacio leads in hits with 20.
Scott Feldman (0.44) and Aaron Harang (0.71) have lower ERA’s than Adam Wainwright, Zack Greinke, and Jose Fernandez.
Jason Hammel has the lowest WHIP (0.51).
Andrew Cashner has the first complete game of the season. This is his second career complete game.
The Top 5 leaders in BAA are Aaron Harang (.098), Garrett Richards (.100), Scott Feldman (.106), Jason Hammel (.109), and Andrew Cashner (.137).
Six players already have three errors: Elvis Andrus, Adrian Beltre, Yan Gomes, Miguel Montero, Daniel Murphy, and Pablo Sandoval.
God, I love small sample size statistics.
DERPS OF THE WEEK
HOLY SHIT RYAN DEMPSTER IS ALIVE
THE MOST #BARVES THING YOU WILL EVER SEE
And finally, the Best Scouting Report of the Week: Masahiro Tanaka